Tag: memories

A Box of “Junk”

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I noticed my big hat box up in my closet was starting to get full as I absentmindedly peaked inside. Surely I can get rid of some stuff in this box without having to upgrade.

I decided to open it up and rummage through it to see if something was worth keeping or throwing in the trash.

The funny thing is – this box…in a way has become somewhat of a diary.

A rusty old penny lays at the bottom; a piece of a cracker jacks box sits beside it, and a mask that lay on top is broken in pieces – if a stranger found this box they wouldn’t know what to do with it. If anything they would think someone was a pack rat, but the only person that knows what everything means is the person that put them there in the first place…which is me.

There are pieces of confetti thrown throughout because I grabbed handfuls and put them in my pockets at the end of a Big Time Rush concert back when I was a young teen. There is an old Chinese take out menu and sticky notes with ineligible handwriting scribbled on them. An assortment of movie tickets, birthday cards and notes for the sake of because. College acceptance letters and deans list notices of congratulations.

It’s not the things though – it’s what they represent. The people I was with. Or what I was doing at that moment in time.

And the funny thing is not all of the things in this box represent really “good” memories. Some of them make me a little teary eyed when I hold them in my hand. It’s a flash back. A moment that gets remembered. And then vanishes away with some relief.

Although some of the things in here are pretty cool and sentimental. It’s the things that are so ordinary and trivial in this box that are the things I hold onto the most.

Those Russian rubles? Yeah, they need to be exchanged for some actual spendable dollar bills.

That converse sneaker? My first key chain when I got my permit that proudly hung the keys to my parent’s minivan.

Notes from little campers who thought I was somewhat cool.

That name tag from my nursing assistant days.

That photo album? Yeah, I got a disposable camera for Christmas and proceeded to use up all the film in the course of one day. Lots of action packed moments in there featuring my sisters and our hamster Freddie.

This box makes me miss adolescence but it also reminds me of all the growth I have gone through and the love I received and keep receiving.

So when the need for a bigger box arises so be it. I’ll keep putting my odd little momentums inside as the years ago by…maybe I’ll upgrade to a trunk.

I do want to say though, next time you feel like you’re small and unwanted – don’t. Look inside your metaphorical box (or physical or heck start one…I don’t know) and remember all the people that care so much about you and all the blessings and love Christ has given you.

That’s all for now.

Love,

Trudi

Another Year (Just Another Day…)

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There is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute.  If we really knew the depth of time, I don’t think we would waste it so carelessly.  Unfortunately, seconds turn to minutes, hours turn to days, and days turn to weeks then months until suddenly it’s the New Year, and we look back and see how fast it all went by, and realize that every year is just going to go by faster as we get older.

When we are little, we don’t really have a concept of time.  Time is based on when lunch is; when Arthur comes on PBS; when the side door to the garage creaks open and Dad’s home, and then that means supper.  When I was little I had every shows time slot on PBS memorized: The Big Comfy Couch, Arthur, Mr. Rogers, Between the Lions, Dragons Tails and so forth. Time wasn’t so important back then.  Only that hour of the day when it was time for the ten second tidy and clock exercises on The Big Comfy Couch with Loonette, and when Mr. Rodgers would feed his fish and have craft time.

Then suddenly you’re eighteen.  You have your first car, your driving to work on a snowy day, paying bills that keep adding up, cashing checks, trying to get by, going to college, and wondering where on earth you’re going next.  You suddenly don’t have enough time.

To be honest, we don’t have enough tomorrows, we never did…but as we get older, we learn to appreciate them more, yet we let them slip away into just “another day” anyways.   Think about it.  Yesterday will never come again.  That last hour on this day, you will never get it back.  That minute that just ticked off on the clock, will never be wound back.  2013 is gone…and we will never be able to live in it again.

2013 was good.  I know that word is mediocre and is used way too much…but anything less or more wouldn’t do.  Like every year, 2013 had its ups and downs.  It was memorable that’s for sure.  I wish I could keep all the memories in a box.  All the secret jokes, and the laughter that made our sides hurt and tear up.  I wish I had a snapshot of every time I felt like everything was right with the world; I just want to see what I was looking at and wonder why I felt that way.  Maybe it was the time we sat by the bonfire on that cold autumn night and made s’mores.   Maybe it was the time we were eating gold whales in the car and laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe.  Maybe it was the time we went to that Korean BBQ and listened to 90s music on the way home.  It was those little moments of insignificance that were the most special to me.

I wish I could go back sometimes, but the thing is…it’s good to move on, even from the good memories, it’s good to leave them in the past in order to make new ones.

So 2014, I don’t have any expectations or resolutions or predictions.  I do have a prayer though.  A prayer to God that no matter how much we stumble and fall, we will cling more and more to Him; through the worries and fears…have us give it all to You, Jesus.  That even through the good, let’s not forget who we owe thanks too.  When we wander to new places, may every trail lead us closer to You.  Let’s remember that though this year will have chaos and become quite messy…there is hope in each new day, not just a New Year, of fresh starts and new beginnings.

Hope
Smiles from the threshold of (each day or) the year to come, 
Whispering ‘it will be happier’…”  – Alfred Tennyson

Much love,

~ Trudi