Tag: fear

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

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On May 1, 1969 – Fred Rogers testified in front of the US Senate Commerce Committee to request funds to support the growth of public television to Senator Pastore. Seemingly rough around the edges, Pastore listened to Rogers as he explained the importance of child development and the generation to come.

“I feel like if we in public television can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable we would have done a great service for mental health[…]let me tell you the words of one of the songs which I feel very important[…]what do you do with the mad that you feel? When you feel so mad you could bite? When the whole wide world seems oh so wrong and nothing you do seems very right? What do you do? Do you punch a bag? Do you pound some clay or some dough? Do you round up friends for a game of tag or see how fast you can go? It’s great to be able to stop when you’ve planned the thing that’s wrong, and to be able to do something else instead, and think this song. I can stop when I want to; can stop when I wish; can stop-stop-stop anytime, and what a could feeling to feel like this and know that the feeling is really mine, know that there is something deep inside that helps us become what we can; for a girl can be someday a lady, and a boy can be someday a man.” – Fred Rogers

Senator Pastore, visibly impressed, received goosebumps and gave the funds to public programming.

“The greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving.” – Fred Rogers

Watching Will You Be My Neighbor? brought flashbacks of my own childhood. In an age when social media, cellphones and the constant connection before internet, Mr. Rogers was tailored to an audience that didn’t have those capabilities, but as I remember growing up, every child, no matter what age or generation they are growing up in, faces the same difficulties of not feeling loved and wanted.

Even as a grown up, I fight these same feelings of the constant seeking of approval. Although Mr. Rogers received backlash for his “everyone is special” message from the critics who say “if everyone is special, no one is.” Mr. Rogers led the movement into participation trophies and emotional thinkers.

But I don’t believe that was ever Mr. Rogers intention.

Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was on air from 1968 to 2001 with 31 seasons and nearly a thousand episodes; Rogers was a lifelong registered Republican and an ordained minister, he faced a wide area of issues on his half hour segment, such as divorce, assassination and racism. Rogers was a tolerant human being who said that we should love others and ourselves.

In 2017 a study from Mental Health America showed 43.7 million Americans struggle annual with mental health illness. 8.47% report having substance or alcohol abuse problems. 11% of youth report suffering from one depressive episode in the past year. 7.4% of youth suffer from sever depression. 5.13% of youth suffer from substance or alcohol abuse. (You can see the study here)

When 9/11 hit, his wife said that he felt defeated. Evil kept existing and the world was always going to be facing tragedy.

One of my friends on Instagram posted a metaphor of being a lighthouse for those around us. To paraphrase, he talked about how nations spend so much in trying to protect themselves from external threats, but that is not enough to insure safety. Extending it to individuals, safety from the external does not stop us from hurting ourselves and others.

We need beacons in our lives, and we need to be beacons for others. Though we cannot control what they do, “you can be a light that others can follow to safety.”

“How sad it is that we give up on people who are just like us.” – Fred Rogers

That being said, Mr. Rogers was a beacon. He let children know for years, everyday that for thirty minutes, we can drown out the noise.

The statistics from 2017, show a fallen world. A world where depression is becoming more prominent because we never feel good enough, loved enough, or wanted. We believe the lies and accept them as truth. This world is scary and tragic…but a man saw that in the midst of the tragedy and fear, we can be a beacon of truth.

“The toughest thing is to love somebody who has done something mean to you. Especially when that somebody has been yourself.” – Fred Rogers

The truth that Jesus loves us oh so very much and because Jesus loves us and forgives us, we need to love and forgive ourselves and others.

I prayer that my light and your light will not grow dim or that you or I will never get to far from the shoreline to see our “beacons”, the people that love us; want the best for us, and steadily stand firm as they wait for our return. Those people exemplify Christ in their love. Jesus is never going to stop loving you, and even when it seems like you are “too far gone”, you never will be.

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost” – Luke 19:10

Will You Be My Neighbor? is a tear jerker in which I highly recommend. It’s not because it’s sad necessarily, but because it serves as a reminder that as a child of God, you are loved, wanted and matter.

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It’s A Wonderful Life

I’m sorry for my absence these past couple of months. So much as happened since my last entry that I honestly don’t know where I should begin. At this moment, I am recuperating from all the exams I had to take during Finals Week, and now I am looking forward to a few weeks off that I know will go by far to quickly, and working to supply the funds for my classy lifestyle (note the sarcasm please) and just resting.

This entire year has been a crash course honestly and it’s left me in a state of tiredness that I have never known before. My anxiety has reached its peak. My comfort zone has been stretched and worn thin. I’ve tried so hard, faced my own failures, and looked at all my shortcomings and felt my confidence dwindle to nothing.

But my God, have I grown. Grown and yet still in need of so much more growing. I’ve taken root in my surroundings; invested in people; I have learned to care; to love deeper, and try harder. Because as long as I tried; put forth the effort and put myself out there…that was success in itself. The simple act of trying.

I wait on the cuffs of expectation for the next year, whispering “it will be better” but the fact is, the situations don’t make me, but how I handle them. So maybe instead I’ll work on myself, shouting “I will be better!” instead of waiting for the daunting “it” to change.

This coming year is going to be full of the same old relentless trying with an innumerable amount of inner pep talks; trying to talk myself out of how I feel because how I feel is not always fact and sometimes, most of the time, it holds me back, because I like my corner, as awkward as it is, it is quite comfortable. But I don’t want to be live the comfortable life as uncomfortable as it is breaking out of my comfort zone (if that makes sense).

This year I’m going to be more confident, and if that means faking confidence, then so be it. Maybe I’ll acquire the real thing along the way. I’m not going to let the fear hold me back anymore because I’m always going to be scared. I’m going to learn to love myself despite the tendency to see all my flaws and belittle myself. Because you can’t love others half as well if you don’t know how to love and care for your own self first. Along the way, I’m going to learn how to be selfless and more giving of my time and assets to others and work on making the relationships I have stronger.

Most importantly, grow closer to Jesus. Because honestly, if I just grow closer to Him, everything else will fall into place. I’ll have more confidence and more love to give because HE makes me better, stronger and more willing.

I’m on a journey of self betterment and my heart is yearning for adventure. I’m excited but I have no expectations. Because 365 days are wrapped up in a year. That’s a lot of hours/minutes/seconds to go through. My tendency to trace out my life plans with an innumerable amount of sticky notes on my desk makes me more anxious than prepared. If I just step away and put Jesus first where He rightly deserves to be, than my plans make more sense and I have a more sure step into the future.

The end of 2017 will spring me into another unknown world but I’m going to focus on the two semesters and one summer I have left of being a college student because it’s exciting. It’s not going to be all excitement but for the most part, it’s going to be a great year despite everything that may happen. You want to know why? Because I got butterflies and goosebumps and that could be a good or bad thing but it’s okay.

Because my philosophy is simple: if it scares you, if you feel butterflies, go for it and if it doesn’t work out, let yourself be disappointed because it’s okay to be disappointed, but then move on and try for something better, because it’s all in God’s plan.

2017 is my senior year and I’m ready.

2016, you were a bunch of things wrapped into one. But you held so much more than I ever could have imagined.

As I seem to look at life with a George Bailey perspective.

“I’m shakin’ the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I’m gonna see the world”

Someday I will. But at this moment it’s home. But my God I am loved. It’s lovely to be loved by people who know you at your worst and see you at your best. Who find joy in your joy and comfort you when you fail.

Thank you Jesus, for this truly wonderful life you have given me.

“No man is a failure who has friends”